This year, more than nearly any other before it, has been the most transformational that I’ve ever had. In so many ways, 2023 will be a year that I look back on when I think about the years that I have felt the most growth. It’s the year that I trusted myself the most. And it’s the year that I’ve been rewarded for that trust.
But let’s go back to the beginning of 2023. I knew in my heart that it was time to close down The Kindred Voice, something that I had been building for over eight years. The business had been everything to me - starting as a magazine, building into online programs and group coaching. But I was ready to move forward and to see what was ahead for me. At the time, I thought that was self-worth coaching and a group program called The Circle. I was all in, I was ready to go.
Spoiler: nothing happened. The Circle didn’t take off in the way I’d hoped it would. I had just one or two coaching clients. And I was immediately struck with this fear of “what the hell do I do now?” That fear, panic, gripping anxiety stayed with me for the entire first half of the year. To be very honest, I still don’t know how I paid bills during that time. I remember dipping into our personal savings and feeling like a complete failure. Likely in the entire eight years of being an entrepreneur, that was the lowest time I’d ever had. Nothing was working. And it felt like I really should just give up.
I went into the summer of 2023 absolutely miserable. Henry was home from school, Harrison hadn’t yet started, and they were constantly fighting. I never had time to work. And I felt like when I did, it wasn’t worth it anyway because nothing was moving, nothing was happening. I spent a lot of the summer crying. But I kept telling myself that in the fall, BOTH kids would be in school for the first time, and THAT’S when I would really see what I could do.
Turns out, I was right… but not in the way I expected.
By the end of summer I was on job boards trying to figure out what skills I had, trying to find something that would light me up, trying to find a job that I could do during school hours so that I could be available for school dropoff and pickup. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accurately describe what June and early July 2023 felt like to me, but I think it’s safe to say I was in a really bad place and I didn’t see any sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
I had a conversation with my husband around this time, telling him to please just give me until the end of the year to see if I could make something happen without having to get a “real” job. We agreed that I’d have through the end of 2023, but if things hadn’t changed by that point, it would be time to go back to work outside of the house.
And then, everything changed.
Before I dive into the changes, at this time I was still working with one coaching client, who had to take a break during the summer due to scheduling, I had some (very little) money coming in from a podcast I co-host called
, and a couple of writer’s coaching clients that I was helping along with . My income every month was not covering my bills, and I was very disillusioned with coaching (that’s a post for another day) and wondering if that’s even the area I wanted to keep working.In late July, I got an email from
, a previous client that I had worked with on her website design a few years before. She was interested in making some updates to her website and asked if I could help out. During our time working on her website, I started seeing all of the INCREDIBLE work she was doing and asked if she’d ever considered doing a podcast. She just had so much GOOD to share with the world. It was just the push she needed to something she had been thinking about and we started working on the Leaving Well podcast. With my prior experience producing my own podcast, I was able to help her get up and running FAST. In addition, she asked me to help out with other design elements for her brand, as well as her first book. Naomi and I have such a great working relationship and she is someone that I really, really admire and appreciate in my life. I’d clone her if I could because everyone should get to work with someone like her.One of Naomi’s first podcast guests was
, someone whose name I obviously knew from her work in starting Moms Demand Action. Shannon had some things in the works and was looking for someone to answer questions so Naomi put me in touch with her. Working with Shannon, seeing how she’s making huge waves in the world, it is so incredibly inspiring and the projects I work on for her are some of my very favorites I’ve ever done.Shannon is also one of the biggest champions of women that I’ve ever met and she is always connecting people. Through us working together, she’s also connected me with Kelly Peters, an incredible wardrobe and personal stylist, who I’m helping with her Substack,
and , an author, podcaster, and do-er of all the things, who I’m also helping with on her Substack How to Show Up. The things I’m supporting them on are things I’m beyond excited about.So that’s four main clients that all of a sudden came into my life, nearly back to back through the end of summer and into early fall. And, it happened to be right at the same time that another HUGE change was happening - Harrison started kindergarten. In my nine years of being a mom, this was the first time that both of my kids were out of the house all day every day. I don’t think the shock has still worn off knowing that this is my life now. That from now until they’re out of the house (with the exception of school breaks), I am alone all day every day.
It was because of this, because I finally had six hours a day to work, five days a week, that I was able to say YES to all of these incredible clients, and to the several others that came to me as one-off projects. And it was also at this time that I was able to really focus in on the things I LOVE to do that I can also help other people with.
I made the decision to stop working as a coach (though I’m still working with one client because I love her… hi, M!)
I continue to be the co-host of Reading Through Life with Mia because I love having a place to talk about books with my bestie.
I started this Substack so that I could focus on one of my passions in life - writing, and writing for ME for once.
And I allowed space to be a writer, podcast producer, and graphic designer for my clients. All of these things that I had no idea would end up being a part of my job but are things that bring me true joy.
For the first time in the eight and a half years that I’ve been an entrepreneur, I’m able to pay my bills, I’m able to have a savings account, I’m able to help out with household expenses and things like the kids sports fees. And this year, I didn’t have to ask my husband for money to be able to buy him a Christmas present.
It feels like freedom. And not even just the money portion. It’s that I’m finally doing things all day every day that bring me calm and peace. That I never thought I’d be able to turn into an actual career. I’m doing things that light me up, that I’m proud to be doing. Most days I’m thinking HOW IS THIS MY JOB! But then I remember the eight years before this, the constant pushing and learning and growing and trying and expanding that I’ve done. It’s all lead me to this point.
It’s taken believing in myself to let other people believe in me, too, to see that I have something I can offer to others. And even now sometimes I balk when one of my clients tells me that they defer to me as the “expert.” Me? An expert? But I think it’s finally time to acknowledge that I didn’t get here by accident or some sort of miracle. Maybe it was a little bit of luck, and some networking.
But mostly, I got here because I’ve worked really, really hard. I’ve kept pushing even when most people would’ve given up, and finally, this year 2023, everything is beginning to pay off in ways I never dreamed possible.
I cannot wait to see what 2024 brings.
Paying subscribers, stay tuned for Sunday when I share my top ten favorite books of the year!
I’m so thrilled for you, Sarah! Thank you for sharing your experience and how important it is to not give up. Cheers to 2024!
I am so incredibly happy for you that you are feeling so good about all the work coming your way, all the wonderful services you provide for people, and feeling successful! You are an incredible woman and I’m so glad to see you reaching your dreams! May your 2024 be full of abundance and joy!