I have had you on my mind since I read and listened to your post this week. I commend you for looking on the positive side of all of your negative experiences with your dad. That is admirable. I too had a mother that was in and out of my life. I shed so many tears wanting her acceptance, and then getting her acceptance only to be let down when, she found something in me that was not acceptable. When she died, I shed no tears. I truly felt that all of the tears I shed previously ( for years) were mourning the mother that I never had. The mother who never cared and accepted me unconditionally. I missed her years and years ago as I wanted her acceptance but when she died I no longer missed her, and I can honestly say that I do not feel that my life is incomplete without her. The one big positive that I take from having such an uncaring parent is that I have given my children the type of mothering that I never had. I am proud of the relationship I have with my children, and I can truly say that I unconditionally love them, and my children know that. Again, thank you for your honesty. I am going to become a paid subscriber. You have a wonderful gift and I look forward to more of your posts.
This is so incredibly kind of you to say, thank you Marita. And also, I am so sorry that you've also experienced this type of parenting, but what you're saying here, I have a feeling will be very similar to how I end up feeling. I also don't feel that my life is incomplete without my dad, and I think it's because for years he just wasn't in my life, so truly it doesn't feel much different. I will say that I made sure I married a man who would be very interested in his children's lives - very similar to what you're saying about how you mother. Thank you for sharing with me your story. I appreciate you.
Sarah, it continues to astound me how similar our lives are. I'm dealing with something similar with my mom right now, where I'm reconciling the person she is today with the person I grew up with. It can be so confusing to hold two differing sets of emotions and experiences, especially regarding a parent (and also if they have mental health or other health issues). I think you beg a really poignant question here around whether not knowing who you are or who loves you is punishment enough for your past actions and behavior. Your thoughtfulness and vulnerability is inspiring, thank you for sharing 🤍
Yay! So glad you liked the audio! It is so interesting how very similar we are. Thank you for sharing here with me about your mom. I know how hard it can be so I hope that you are allowing yourself the option to feel ALL of the emotions that come with these really tough situations.
You have a wonderful clarity that is exquisitely described. My dad died in 2018. We were very close when I was young and listening, but when I rebelled against the life path he wanted me to take, less so. The end was extremely difficult for reasons I won't go into. I'm constantly haunted by it. Not in an evil awful painful way, but it does take up head and heart space. I was with him when he died and it wasn't pretty. Just yesterday I went back and looked at pictures I took that day. Last night I downloaded a soul-mate report about my folks to understand them more. It sounds like for whatever he was or wasn't, you progressed through to a sound and stable life that supports the living and understands the dying. Truly. I would ask you to trust your higher self. You are one grounded Goddess and in each moment, you will face the truth in stride and continue growing to be your finest and best.
I really appreciate your take here, and sharing more about your own story. These types of relationships, no matter how good in parts, can always be really tricky to navigate so I appreciate your vote of confidence!
I have had you on my mind since I read and listened to your post this week. I commend you for looking on the positive side of all of your negative experiences with your dad. That is admirable. I too had a mother that was in and out of my life. I shed so many tears wanting her acceptance, and then getting her acceptance only to be let down when, she found something in me that was not acceptable. When she died, I shed no tears. I truly felt that all of the tears I shed previously ( for years) were mourning the mother that I never had. The mother who never cared and accepted me unconditionally. I missed her years and years ago as I wanted her acceptance but when she died I no longer missed her, and I can honestly say that I do not feel that my life is incomplete without her. The one big positive that I take from having such an uncaring parent is that I have given my children the type of mothering that I never had. I am proud of the relationship I have with my children, and I can truly say that I unconditionally love them, and my children know that. Again, thank you for your honesty. I am going to become a paid subscriber. You have a wonderful gift and I look forward to more of your posts.
This is so incredibly kind of you to say, thank you Marita. And also, I am so sorry that you've also experienced this type of parenting, but what you're saying here, I have a feeling will be very similar to how I end up feeling. I also don't feel that my life is incomplete without my dad, and I think it's because for years he just wasn't in my life, so truly it doesn't feel much different. I will say that I made sure I married a man who would be very interested in his children's lives - very similar to what you're saying about how you mother. Thank you for sharing with me your story. I appreciate you.
Forgiveness is a powerful healer. I think you are doing all the things that are best for YOU. Continue to do just that. BIG GIANT HUG to you. xoxox
Thank you, and I accept your big giant hug, my friend!
Sarah, it continues to astound me how similar our lives are. I'm dealing with something similar with my mom right now, where I'm reconciling the person she is today with the person I grew up with. It can be so confusing to hold two differing sets of emotions and experiences, especially regarding a parent (and also if they have mental health or other health issues). I think you beg a really poignant question here around whether not knowing who you are or who loves you is punishment enough for your past actions and behavior. Your thoughtfulness and vulnerability is inspiring, thank you for sharing 🤍
Also, I loved listening on audio! Your voice is perfect for it
Yay! So glad you liked the audio! It is so interesting how very similar we are. Thank you for sharing here with me about your mom. I know how hard it can be so I hope that you are allowing yourself the option to feel ALL of the emotions that come with these really tough situations.
This is familiar and relatable to me in many ways. Definitely thought provoking. Thank you for your willingness to share.
Thank you for reading Sandy. And also, I'm sorry that it feels relatable to you because I'm sure you also have complicated feelings.
You have a wonderful clarity that is exquisitely described. My dad died in 2018. We were very close when I was young and listening, but when I rebelled against the life path he wanted me to take, less so. The end was extremely difficult for reasons I won't go into. I'm constantly haunted by it. Not in an evil awful painful way, but it does take up head and heart space. I was with him when he died and it wasn't pretty. Just yesterday I went back and looked at pictures I took that day. Last night I downloaded a soul-mate report about my folks to understand them more. It sounds like for whatever he was or wasn't, you progressed through to a sound and stable life that supports the living and understands the dying. Truly. I would ask you to trust your higher self. You are one grounded Goddess and in each moment, you will face the truth in stride and continue growing to be your finest and best.
I really appreciate your take here, and sharing more about your own story. These types of relationships, no matter how good in parts, can always be really tricky to navigate so I appreciate your vote of confidence!
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