I had to laugh when I read this along with being grateful that cellphones didn’t exist when my now grown son was growing up. He must have been about 16 and already had older friends who drove. To preface this, we lived in Orange County, CA surrounding with families that gave kids new cars for their birthday and lived in expensive gated communities. We weren’t in that tax bracket nor would we have done that.
One afternoon he came home with a pager. I questioned him about it. “Are you a drug dealer now and customers need to contact you?” I was joking but I failed to see why he needed it. It seems his friends often (?) needed to contact him and had no way to.
Oh my gosh, pagers! I forgot about pagers! I'm willing to bet that most with older kids are glad they didn't have to work through this challenge when their kids were little - I definitely would be.
At least pagers were cheap to buy and use. My husband’s first mobile phone was a full-sized handset (black with a curly cord) attached to a shoebox sized base connected to a cigarette lighter. He used it for work. First bill was $80O!
Jonathan Haidt just released a book about younger generations and phones/social media. My dad grabbed my copy as soon as it came in so I haven't read it yet, but some of the things I've seen from it are fascinating, including this: https://www.instagram.com/p/C43TYaxufO3/
Ah, the days of dial-up and AIM, that brings me back. But I can sympathize with you on how hard this decision is. I’m not a parent yet, but things like social media and cell phones are at the forefront of my mind when I think about having kids. It’s a tough thing to navigate. I will say, it sounds like Henry has extracurriculars he enjoys (swimming) and a strong support system (you/your family and friends), so his reliance on a cell phone or social media might not be as intense as other kids who end up using it as an escape because they don’t have those things. The fact that you’re being so thoughtful about it speaks volumes 🤍
You're so right, and I think that'll be something I keep in mind whenever he does get it, that we can help him be less addicted to it by making sure he continues to have other outlets.
My grandson got his cell at 12. What’s so interesting is that is isn’t glued to it at all. Totally surprised his mom and me. He uses it just for communication and he downloads a game app now and then.
What I’ve noticed is that lots of kids his age do not have the same relationship with phones that we have. I do think there is a shift. And I’m glad.
Also - no social media for him. He doesn’t seem to even care.
The biggest lesson is remembering to charge it. 😂 He never cares if it’s dead. Which drives us crazy for safety reasons.
Oooh that is really interesting! And I sincerely hope that there is a shift. Maybe because they've grown up seeing us on the devices all the times that the sort of novelty of it has worn off? Also, that'll definitely be Henry, never remembering to charge it :)
I found the Wait til 8th campaign helpful in deciding to hold out on giving my kids cellphones. For logistics purposes it really felt necessary for my 13yo. She was one of the last in her friend group to get a phone and honestly it was getting annoying with her having to always borrow a friend's phone to get in touch with us for pick ups/change of plans etc. No social media allowed either although "everyone else has it." I plan to do the same timeline with my 8yo.
I had to laugh when I read this along with being grateful that cellphones didn’t exist when my now grown son was growing up. He must have been about 16 and already had older friends who drove. To preface this, we lived in Orange County, CA surrounding with families that gave kids new cars for their birthday and lived in expensive gated communities. We weren’t in that tax bracket nor would we have done that.
One afternoon he came home with a pager. I questioned him about it. “Are you a drug dealer now and customers need to contact you?” I was joking but I failed to see why he needed it. It seems his friends often (?) needed to contact him and had no way to.
Oh my gosh, pagers! I forgot about pagers! I'm willing to bet that most with older kids are glad they didn't have to work through this challenge when their kids were little - I definitely would be.
At least pagers were cheap to buy and use. My husband’s first mobile phone was a full-sized handset (black with a curly cord) attached to a shoebox sized base connected to a cigarette lighter. He used it for work. First bill was $80O!
Jonathan Haidt just released a book about younger generations and phones/social media. My dad grabbed my copy as soon as it came in so I haven't read it yet, but some of the things I've seen from it are fascinating, including this: https://www.instagram.com/p/C43TYaxufO3/
Yes! He was featured in the podcast I linked to from Radio Atlantic talking about his new book. I'm really interested in reading it!
Ah, the days of dial-up and AIM, that brings me back. But I can sympathize with you on how hard this decision is. I’m not a parent yet, but things like social media and cell phones are at the forefront of my mind when I think about having kids. It’s a tough thing to navigate. I will say, it sounds like Henry has extracurriculars he enjoys (swimming) and a strong support system (you/your family and friends), so his reliance on a cell phone or social media might not be as intense as other kids who end up using it as an escape because they don’t have those things. The fact that you’re being so thoughtful about it speaks volumes 🤍
You're so right, and I think that'll be something I keep in mind whenever he does get it, that we can help him be less addicted to it by making sure he continues to have other outlets.
My grandson got his cell at 12. What’s so interesting is that is isn’t glued to it at all. Totally surprised his mom and me. He uses it just for communication and he downloads a game app now and then.
What I’ve noticed is that lots of kids his age do not have the same relationship with phones that we have. I do think there is a shift. And I’m glad.
Also - no social media for him. He doesn’t seem to even care.
The biggest lesson is remembering to charge it. 😂 He never cares if it’s dead. Which drives us crazy for safety reasons.
Oooh that is really interesting! And I sincerely hope that there is a shift. Maybe because they've grown up seeing us on the devices all the times that the sort of novelty of it has worn off? Also, that'll definitely be Henry, never remembering to charge it :)
I found the Wait til 8th campaign helpful in deciding to hold out on giving my kids cellphones. For logistics purposes it really felt necessary for my 13yo. She was one of the last in her friend group to get a phone and honestly it was getting annoying with her having to always borrow a friend's phone to get in touch with us for pick ups/change of plans etc. No social media allowed either although "everyone else has it." I plan to do the same timeline with my 8yo.
I just recently learned about that campaign so I need to dig into it more! Do you have any thoughts as to when you'll allow social media?
So far haven't set a target age to allow it. I'd rather have the kids skip it for all of high school, honestly.
I'm definitely with you on that!